Then everyone is happy.
It is wonderful to have the husband home. Although cleaning is not his forte (he is currently playing video games with the older children) he does help by playing with the kids and keeping them occupied so I can get my work done.
He tells me he is so in love with me and doesn't understand how it is such an overwhelming feeling for him now. He says to not worry about my body's appearance: "You're the body I got and I want it." Besides, he tells me, after three babies, he's pretty sure the belly's not going back.
Could he say something sweeter? Real life conversation is rarely poetic and error free as television or movies. In real life, what he says is perfect.
So the house is a mess, the laundry overflowing and the floors in desperate need of mopping. And I'm happy. Why? I hear the excited chatter of three kids and their father playing some dumb video game in the other room.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Frustration
I didn't plan on writing to vent frustrations, but here I go. Even though I am most likely the only person to read this, I don't want to malign my husband too much despite his idiotic behavior.
When we were dating, we realized we did not function all that well when apart. We simply prefer to be together. When he is away from home for days, I struggle. I have difficulty sleeping, cleaning the house, cooking or anything productive. It really is a serious problem. We can make things work when we are able to still communicate daily; however, this current delivery he is on is merely an extension of an already dysfunctional schedule of absences.
I am hoping by writing now I will be able to appreciate his return & not harbor anger & bitterness at his complete lack of communication or consideration of me & the kids. I resent his calling his father while at dinner & chatting "for a while" before calling me to let me know he was available again by phone. I'm irritated that when he did call this evening, he called 22 seconds before he was completely out of cell range for the next two days. And that 22 seconds? Most of it was spent with me having difficulty understanding him over the buzz of studded snow tires.
Am I expecting too much of this man? I know when I am away from him, he calls frequently & is frustrated with my distracted conversations usually taking place when I'm refereeing our brood or nursing the babe. His calls are usually requests for my return. My calls are usually seeking support.
This new career path he has opted to pursue is much harder than I anticipated. He is enjoying himself for the most part. He's more physically tired, but he's happier to be mentally free. I dislike the long hours & the lack of involvement with anything here at home. He has very few jobs in the house & they have pretty much become non-existent as he spends most of his time working over an hour away. Taking out the recycling & garbage? All my doing anymore. Garbage to the road? Me again. Cat box? Thankfully I taught Eli to do it & he's declared that he LOVES doing it & doesn't want me to teach Abby. So now the husband thinks he doesn't treat me as a hired help. He expects me to have everyone happy, fed & clean as well as have the house sparkling & organized at any random moment. His excuse for not participating? He's not here. I'm single parenting without the stress of a money earning position somewhere else & the children in childcare.
Have I mentioned that the cats were NOT my idea?
He just called again. He's fortunate I love him. I wish I had more to tell him, but my life seems so uninteresting compared to his recent adventures. He says he misses me & he forgot to buy a calling card. Now he really is heading out of cell range for days. I just want him home.
When we were dating, we realized we did not function all that well when apart. We simply prefer to be together. When he is away from home for days, I struggle. I have difficulty sleeping, cleaning the house, cooking or anything productive. It really is a serious problem. We can make things work when we are able to still communicate daily; however, this current delivery he is on is merely an extension of an already dysfunctional schedule of absences.
I am hoping by writing now I will be able to appreciate his return & not harbor anger & bitterness at his complete lack of communication or consideration of me & the kids. I resent his calling his father while at dinner & chatting "for a while" before calling me to let me know he was available again by phone. I'm irritated that when he did call this evening, he called 22 seconds before he was completely out of cell range for the next two days. And that 22 seconds? Most of it was spent with me having difficulty understanding him over the buzz of studded snow tires.
Am I expecting too much of this man? I know when I am away from him, he calls frequently & is frustrated with my distracted conversations usually taking place when I'm refereeing our brood or nursing the babe. His calls are usually requests for my return. My calls are usually seeking support.
This new career path he has opted to pursue is much harder than I anticipated. He is enjoying himself for the most part. He's more physically tired, but he's happier to be mentally free. I dislike the long hours & the lack of involvement with anything here at home. He has very few jobs in the house & they have pretty much become non-existent as he spends most of his time working over an hour away. Taking out the recycling & garbage? All my doing anymore. Garbage to the road? Me again. Cat box? Thankfully I taught Eli to do it & he's declared that he LOVES doing it & doesn't want me to teach Abby. So now the husband thinks he doesn't treat me as a hired help. He expects me to have everyone happy, fed & clean as well as have the house sparkling & organized at any random moment. His excuse for not participating? He's not here. I'm single parenting without the stress of a money earning position somewhere else & the children in childcare.
Have I mentioned that the cats were NOT my idea?
He just called again. He's fortunate I love him. I wish I had more to tell him, but my life seems so uninteresting compared to his recent adventures. He says he misses me & he forgot to buy a calling card. Now he really is heading out of cell range for days. I just want him home.
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