Then everyone is happy.
It is wonderful to have the husband home. Although cleaning is not his forte (he is currently playing video games with the older children) he does help by playing with the kids and keeping them occupied so I can get my work done.
He tells me he is so in love with me and doesn't understand how it is such an overwhelming feeling for him now. He says to not worry about my body's appearance: "You're the body I got and I want it." Besides, he tells me, after three babies, he's pretty sure the belly's not going back.
Could he say something sweeter? Real life conversation is rarely poetic and error free as television or movies. In real life, what he says is perfect.
So the house is a mess, the laundry overflowing and the floors in desperate need of mopping. And I'm happy. Why? I hear the excited chatter of three kids and their father playing some dumb video game in the other room.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Frustration
I didn't plan on writing to vent frustrations, but here I go. Even though I am most likely the only person to read this, I don't want to malign my husband too much despite his idiotic behavior.
When we were dating, we realized we did not function all that well when apart. We simply prefer to be together. When he is away from home for days, I struggle. I have difficulty sleeping, cleaning the house, cooking or anything productive. It really is a serious problem. We can make things work when we are able to still communicate daily; however, this current delivery he is on is merely an extension of an already dysfunctional schedule of absences.
I am hoping by writing now I will be able to appreciate his return & not harbor anger & bitterness at his complete lack of communication or consideration of me & the kids. I resent his calling his father while at dinner & chatting "for a while" before calling me to let me know he was available again by phone. I'm irritated that when he did call this evening, he called 22 seconds before he was completely out of cell range for the next two days. And that 22 seconds? Most of it was spent with me having difficulty understanding him over the buzz of studded snow tires.
Am I expecting too much of this man? I know when I am away from him, he calls frequently & is frustrated with my distracted conversations usually taking place when I'm refereeing our brood or nursing the babe. His calls are usually requests for my return. My calls are usually seeking support.
This new career path he has opted to pursue is much harder than I anticipated. He is enjoying himself for the most part. He's more physically tired, but he's happier to be mentally free. I dislike the long hours & the lack of involvement with anything here at home. He has very few jobs in the house & they have pretty much become non-existent as he spends most of his time working over an hour away. Taking out the recycling & garbage? All my doing anymore. Garbage to the road? Me again. Cat box? Thankfully I taught Eli to do it & he's declared that he LOVES doing it & doesn't want me to teach Abby. So now the husband thinks he doesn't treat me as a hired help. He expects me to have everyone happy, fed & clean as well as have the house sparkling & organized at any random moment. His excuse for not participating? He's not here. I'm single parenting without the stress of a money earning position somewhere else & the children in childcare.
Have I mentioned that the cats were NOT my idea?
He just called again. He's fortunate I love him. I wish I had more to tell him, but my life seems so uninteresting compared to his recent adventures. He says he misses me & he forgot to buy a calling card. Now he really is heading out of cell range for days. I just want him home.
When we were dating, we realized we did not function all that well when apart. We simply prefer to be together. When he is away from home for days, I struggle. I have difficulty sleeping, cleaning the house, cooking or anything productive. It really is a serious problem. We can make things work when we are able to still communicate daily; however, this current delivery he is on is merely an extension of an already dysfunctional schedule of absences.
I am hoping by writing now I will be able to appreciate his return & not harbor anger & bitterness at his complete lack of communication or consideration of me & the kids. I resent his calling his father while at dinner & chatting "for a while" before calling me to let me know he was available again by phone. I'm irritated that when he did call this evening, he called 22 seconds before he was completely out of cell range for the next two days. And that 22 seconds? Most of it was spent with me having difficulty understanding him over the buzz of studded snow tires.
Am I expecting too much of this man? I know when I am away from him, he calls frequently & is frustrated with my distracted conversations usually taking place when I'm refereeing our brood or nursing the babe. His calls are usually requests for my return. My calls are usually seeking support.
This new career path he has opted to pursue is much harder than I anticipated. He is enjoying himself for the most part. He's more physically tired, but he's happier to be mentally free. I dislike the long hours & the lack of involvement with anything here at home. He has very few jobs in the house & they have pretty much become non-existent as he spends most of his time working over an hour away. Taking out the recycling & garbage? All my doing anymore. Garbage to the road? Me again. Cat box? Thankfully I taught Eli to do it & he's declared that he LOVES doing it & doesn't want me to teach Abby. So now the husband thinks he doesn't treat me as a hired help. He expects me to have everyone happy, fed & clean as well as have the house sparkling & organized at any random moment. His excuse for not participating? He's not here. I'm single parenting without the stress of a money earning position somewhere else & the children in childcare.
Have I mentioned that the cats were NOT my idea?
He just called again. He's fortunate I love him. I wish I had more to tell him, but my life seems so uninteresting compared to his recent adventures. He says he misses me & he forgot to buy a calling card. Now he really is heading out of cell range for days. I just want him home.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Anticipation
As soon as the kids were old enough to draw circles, we've allowed them to mark all over the toy catalog that comes in the mail before Christmas. The catalog comes early enough for us to have time to figure out how to afford what they believe is their hearts' desires and decide which will work best as their Santa gifts.
The catalog arrived yesterday and Abby took control of the pages first. Wielding her pen, she flipped the pages searching for what she deems perfect and complaining about the too many boy items. Tonight, Eli had his turn. Excitedly he marks with circles and his name, calling out to Abby how he's getting them a trampoline (not in this lifetime) or a Star Wars movie (like we don't have enough) or pink and blue "light savers." I listen to this exchange from the kitchen and remind them that circling does not mean they will get the item. Eli wails, tossing his pen, angrily accusing me of tricking him since he's decided my reminder means he'll not get anything.
Reassured the catalog helps Mama and Papa with his Christmas gifts, he finishes his quest and carries the pages to his room. I wonder if he thought he would still peruse the pictures. His first examination only took a little over an half hour.
The catalog arrived yesterday and Abby took control of the pages first. Wielding her pen, she flipped the pages searching for what she deems perfect and complaining about the too many boy items. Tonight, Eli had his turn. Excitedly he marks with circles and his name, calling out to Abby how he's getting them a trampoline (not in this lifetime) or a Star Wars movie (like we don't have enough) or pink and blue "light savers." I listen to this exchange from the kitchen and remind them that circling does not mean they will get the item. Eli wails, tossing his pen, angrily accusing me of tricking him since he's decided my reminder means he'll not get anything.
Reassured the catalog helps Mama and Papa with his Christmas gifts, he finishes his quest and carries the pages to his room. I wonder if he thought he would still peruse the pictures. His first examination only took a little over an half hour.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Mrs. Sanchez
I spend an exorbitant amount of time wondering where my children's brains are and why they come up with the things they do. Abby decided to take a garden spider to school. Her teacher already had a spider named "Mrs. Spider" so Abby named hers "Mrs. Spidey." However, before leaving for school the next morning with said spider, she informed me that the spider's name is now "Mrs. Sanchez" because well, "spidey" isn't even a word. How can I not see the sense in this?
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Crush
My daughter is in love with a boy. She's seven. His name is Vicente and he's in her second grade class at school. She told me she remembers the first time she met him, how she told him to put his backpack next to the wall before they did their before-school laps.
Should I be worried? She came to me--eyes bright, face glowing excitedly--and told me she likes a boy. "Well, actually," she said, "it's closer to love." I stopped everything to give her my full attention. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me. Her whole countenance lights up when she says his name; she can't help but smile.
Sometimes this boy rides past our house with his brother. He lives only a few doors down the road. He and his brother smile and wave at me as they pedal past, Vicente's eyes searching beyond me through the window. Abby squeals, frantically racing through the house, throwing on whatever clothes are handy (i.e. dirty, wrinkled and piled on her bedroom floor) to run outside barefoot just to talk to him. If she has just missed him, she calls his name, hoping he's close enough to hear and return. We encourage her to play hard to get, but the concept is completely foreign to her.
"I spit it out today," she tells me. Her eyes are bright, her mouth fights an excited grin. I look at her blankly, trying to follow a conversation I didn't know I was involved, "Spit what out?"
"I told Vicente that I love him."
"Oh? What did he say?" I'm calm. My heart, on the other hand, beats in fear of this new development. I ache for all the emotional unknowns beginning in her life.
"He just went 'nnnnnnnnnggggggg' (eyes rolled, dramatically falling to the ground)."
With an up-down understanding voice, "Oh...then what?"
"Then we played tetherball."
"Who won?"
"I did."
That's my girl, I tell her. Don't let the boy win. Always play your best and never let anyone beat you just because you think it will make them like you. I hope I'm doing this right.
Vicente stops at our yard, holding a wrinkled paper sack. "Can Abby come out? I brought her something." He's so sweet with his earnest eyes, his dark hair hidden under the requisite bicycle helmet. Unfortunately, Abby is grounded. You should see the state of her bedroom. Knowing it's yet another exception to a consequence, I fetch my oldest, telling her to express her thanks quickly and return to the abyss of her creation. I'll pay for the inconsistency in discipline later. The boy did bring a gift after all. We'll ignore that said gift is leftover Fourth of July parade candy and chunks of rhubarb. Abby is thrilled.
Should I be worried? She came to me--eyes bright, face glowing excitedly--and told me she likes a boy. "Well, actually," she said, "it's closer to love." I stopped everything to give her my full attention. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me. Her whole countenance lights up when she says his name; she can't help but smile.
Sometimes this boy rides past our house with his brother. He lives only a few doors down the road. He and his brother smile and wave at me as they pedal past, Vicente's eyes searching beyond me through the window. Abby squeals, frantically racing through the house, throwing on whatever clothes are handy (i.e. dirty, wrinkled and piled on her bedroom floor) to run outside barefoot just to talk to him. If she has just missed him, she calls his name, hoping he's close enough to hear and return. We encourage her to play hard to get, but the concept is completely foreign to her.
"I spit it out today," she tells me. Her eyes are bright, her mouth fights an excited grin. I look at her blankly, trying to follow a conversation I didn't know I was involved, "Spit what out?"
"I told Vicente that I love him."
"Oh? What did he say?" I'm calm. My heart, on the other hand, beats in fear of this new development. I ache for all the emotional unknowns beginning in her life.
"He just went 'nnnnnnnnnggggggg' (eyes rolled, dramatically falling to the ground)."
With an up-down understanding voice, "Oh...then what?"
"Then we played tetherball."
"Who won?"
"I did."
That's my girl, I tell her. Don't let the boy win. Always play your best and never let anyone beat you just because you think it will make them like you. I hope I'm doing this right.
Vicente stops at our yard, holding a wrinkled paper sack. "Can Abby come out? I brought her something." He's so sweet with his earnest eyes, his dark hair hidden under the requisite bicycle helmet. Unfortunately, Abby is grounded. You should see the state of her bedroom. Knowing it's yet another exception to a consequence, I fetch my oldest, telling her to express her thanks quickly and return to the abyss of her creation. I'll pay for the inconsistency in discipline later. The boy did bring a gift after all. We'll ignore that said gift is leftover Fourth of July parade candy and chunks of rhubarb. Abby is thrilled.
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